Our One Month Home Anniversary!

Howdy!  Sorry for the hiatus from blogging….I knew this would happen.  Our day-to-day lives just aren’t that interesting, so I’ve tried to spare you from our mundane activities.

Wow - it’s been one month since we arrived back in Nashville.  I thought I would reminisce for a minute with some photos from those moments coming off the plane in NashVegas.  Some of you may have seen some of the photos from FaceBook.  Here are a few you may not have seen.  A special thanks to INHAUSCREATIVE for the photos!

One month…..hard to believe.  Well, that’s not true.  Some days it feels like we’ve been home for months/years with our sweet little one.  She is just amazing, and the adaptation into our lives could not be going any more smoothly.  When things aren't going so smoothly, we have to remind ourselves that it's just been a month.  She is so, so sweet and so very happy, but she is definitely a “Spicy Girl.”  This is a phrase that the Chinese use to describe girls from Hunan, her province.  They use this phrase because of the spicy food that they are known for.  But I’ll tell ya, she has a spicy side to her, and she’s a flirt.  I’m not used to a mischievous child, but I’m a pretty quick study.  She is quick to stand up for herself and is definitely not a pushover.  She has the funniest little looks and faces that she makes.  When you tell her, “No,” she’ll look at you with a grin and do it again.  When you tell her, “No” again, she’ll pucker up for a kiss.  See what I mean?!?  After the second, “No,” we redirect.

I am so fortunate to be able to spend these first weeks at home with her.  My concerns about bonding/attaching with me are gone (Thank you, Lord!), but I now have concerns with separation anxiety.  With Philip working during the day, she is completely my shadow.  She does not like for me to leave and go anywhere without her, whether it be in the next room, or leave the house all together.  Philip and Olivia need to do a little more re-bonding, but they have plenty of time.

This morning, we attempted church in her Sunday School class, without me.  She did great!  I snuck out of the room, and she did not make a single peep while I was away.  I left her in there for an hour, so that is a really good sign.  We have also received word that beginning in July, she can start going to day care a couple of days a week.  We originally thought it would be August, so that is great as well.  I will begin taking her in July for a couple of hours at a time and then increase that time as the month goes on.  That way, she is ready to go full time when the time comes.

She is learning so much and is beginning to express an interest in talking more every day.  She understands much of what I say now, and that is good.  However, she is beginning to get a little more frustrated when I can’t understand what she is trying to say.  But, we are figuring it out.  She is also finally trying to mimic some words.  She can say, “Baby” (kind of sounds like ‘Buh Bye’), “Bye Bye,” “Hi (kind of sounds like ‘Hey’),” “Mama” (still not consistently related to me), and she is trying to say “Sissy," “Doggie,”, and "Hot."

TEIS came back last week for a further evaluation.  We should know more this week what their recommendations are.  My fine motor skill concerns are no longer. She is doing great with that.  I would still like for her to have some speech if possible to help jump start her on the language piece, but she is doing great with her motor skills.

She LOVES the water and has really enjoyed going to the pool the couple of times that we have been.  We start swim lessons for both girls tomorrow, so we’ll see how that goes. The folks have been wonderful to work with and have told me that if it doesn’t work out with Olivia, they will refund my money considering the circumstances.  I cannot be in the room during the lessons, and that is my main concern (see above).  Hopefully she will like it so much that she won’t care where I am.

She still eats and sleeps great.  This girl LOVES any kind of noodle.  When in doubt, give her noodles.  Mac & Cheese are usually a good “go to” if we are at a restaurant.  She likes chicken, but doesn’t love it like Ansley does.  In terms of sleeping, she likes to sleep with her shoes.  I'm not sure what that is all about, but we go with it.

Our girls are TOTALLY different.  Ansley is dramatic, musical, has very strong leadership skills (aka Bossy), and is very detail-oriented.  Olivia is more interested in how things work, and I’m not sure if she is going to be as bossy or detail-oriented.  For instance, Ansley is interested in what color Philip’s bikes are.  Olivia, on the other hand, is more interested in how the gears shift.  Ansley wrote a song the other day about our trip to China and enjoyed performing it for us with her microphone.   Olivia, on the other hand, was more interested in how the sound was coming out of the speaker and how she created feedback when she put the mic too close to the speaker.  Our lives are definitely going to be interesting….and FUN with such different children.

I will tell you that adopting a toddler is a totally different experience than birthing an infant. With an infant, you are able to teach them things from day one and the learnings are gradual:  right from wrong, boundaries, words, phrases, rules, schedules, sitting up, crawling, walking, etc.  With adopting a toddler at the age of two who is already walking, she has already had the opportunity to develop habits and who knows what type of rules she had to live by in the orphanage (if any).  She has habits we are trying to break, rules and boundaries we are trying to teach, and a new language she is trying to learn.  We have to constantly keep an eye on her, particularly near water, any type of playground/slide, outside, near stairs, etc.  She is a DARE.DEVIL, and I’m not used to that.  It’s not easy, folks, but I’m not complaining.  I just don’t want to sugar coat it and make it seem like it’s something it isn’t.  With her constant attachment to me, being “on the go,” her mischievousness, and constantly working to communicate, (oh and I forgot to mention managing the emotions of our 4 year old who is also adjusting to our new life), it is exhausting….but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  We are having a lot of fun, but there are some times when I just need 5 minutes alone, though. :)  When I do feel like it's hard, I remember the families who adopted kids with special needs and how hard it must be for them.  I also think about the years I spent longing for children and how hard it is on the people who dream of being parents.  That puts me back in my place really quick.

Speaking of Ansley, she is doing much better.  We take it day-to-day; some days are better than others.  Overall, things are better.

In terms of me keeping my sanity, I told myself before we left for China that while I was off, I would get back in shape.  And, I’m working on doing that.  As often as possible, after Ansley goes to school in the morning, Olivia and I head out for a run.  I’m not going any crazy distances, and I’m not setting any PR’s….but, I’m out there, and it feels great!  Olivia enjoys being in the jogging stroller, and it helps us both to get out of the house for a little while.  I’m trying to figure out how in the world I can keep this going when I go back to work, but I haven’t come to any conclusions besides waking up at 4am every day.  And, those of you who know me, you know that’s just not going to happen.  I’m open to any and all ideas that you all have.

Someone asked me the other day an interesting question….she asked me if I had to do it all over again, and I knew what I know now…..would I adopt first and then have a biological child, or have a biological child and then adopt?  At first, I didn’t know how to answer, and of course, we didn’t have a choice in our order of events, but as I’ve had time to think about it, I think having a bio child first and then adopting would be my recommendation….if it’s a toddler you are adopting.  If it’s a baby you are adopting, I’m not sure that it would matter.  I feel like since we had the experience of Ansley and going through the toddler years with her, we kind of knew what to expect with Olivia, to some degree. I think it would have been more difficult for us if Olivia had been our first child, and we were jumping into parenthood with a 2 year old.  We also know that the toddler years DO end eventually.  J  Other parents may have a different opinion, and I may change my mind as they get older.

A lot of people stop me and say how blessed Olivia is that we adopted her, but I feel that WE are the ones who are blessed.  We are blessed that God chose US to be her parents.  He could have chosen anyone else in the world, but He chose us.  WHAT.AN.HONOR.  I pray that we always make the best decisions for both of our girls.

Again, thanks to everyone who supports us in any and all ways:  by prayers, thoughts, words, “Likes,” comments, etc.  I’ve always heard that it takes a village to raise a child, and I believe that.  We are so blessed to know each and every one of you, and thank you for traveling this journey with us.  It means so much to us, and we are just amazed at how many people mention this blog or our adoption journey to us in conversation.  I hope this blog has proven helpful or motivating for someone, but especially someone contemplating adoption or in the process of adopting.  I know that I spent hours upon hours reading hundreds of blogs while we are waiting, and many of the blogs were so uplifting and really kept me “going” during the long wait.

Until next time,
Jill